Monday, July 19, 2010

Come to Your Senses

Awakening the senses brings us present in the body—a prerequisite for true intimacy and sizzling sex. Engaging our sense of smell, taste, touch, hearing and seeing signals the body to open more deeply to pleasure and provides a gateway to more ecstatic sexual experiences.

First things first—take a look at your lovemaking space. Does it look like a sacred tantric temple, a bachelor pad or a dorm room? Get rid of the clutter: the “stuff,” anything work-related, the stacks of books, magazines, and mail. Once you’ve got a clean slate, add in colors, beautiful objects, sensual images and anything that makes your space visually sensual to you. (Best not to have a TV or computer in your temple space, but if you insist, at least cover it up.)

Put on something sensual! Guys, you may love your old holey sweat pants but they probably don’t turn her on. Use flowers, incense, fragrant candles or essential oils to add perfume to the air and delight your sense of smell. Choose music for the mood, listen to twinkling wind chimes, moan and talk sexy in your lover’s ear (YES!).

Engage your taste buds with sweet, sour, and salty treats. Suck on slippery mango, lick chocolate sauce off her nipple, or give him a sip of fine Port--from your mouth. Ignite your tactile senses with feathers, furs, velvet, silks, and satins. And don’t forget the edgier delights of scratching, pinching, spanking, and biting. This is also a great time of year to play with ice cubes.

Notice if you favor some senses but ignore others. Try a “sensory awakening” exercise where you each take turns receiving--blindfolded. Or if you’re single, give yourself this gift. Go slow. Have fun. Notice how some time devoted to awakening the senses opens up your body and shifts, expands or deepens your lovemaking.

What are your favorite ways to awaken the senses?

For more creative ideas on expanding your sexual self expression, joy and pleasure, check out my book “Kama Sutra 52: A Year’s Worth of the Best Positions for Passion and Pleasure” or visit me at